Who Accepts and Commits to Who?

It’s not just about acceptance, is it Lord? To accept something means to simply agree along the same train of thought or agree that some statement is true. Accepting you as my savior is just knowledge of what you’ve done for me. It feels almost as if you have pierced through my blinders whereas I was willing to “accept You” but I lacked the intention. It was a terrifying realization. That’s not to say I doubted my salvation, but true repentance and faith; I can’t say for certain that those two cores to salvation were fully realized in me until today. Part of this process of writing to You and diving more into Your Word has brought honest reflection where I found myself lacking. I called out to You and said I don’t even know my own heart. With reading, listening, studying, watching, You have brought out that putting my faith in you and completely turning away from wickedness requires a broken heart. My Lord and Savior, my heart was shattered. I felt empty and hollow. I knew the truth, I knew the words, I knew exactly what I needed and was content with my acceptance. How arrogant was I? I accept You? You accept me! I come broken and crying out in pain and torment begging for YOUR acceptance! If I just “accept” Truth, where is my faith? If it all stops at mere knowledge, where is my rejection of sin to come to repentance? And I’m committed to you? Not so, King Jesus, I will fail you in my commitments. That’s why You through so much grace have committed yourself to me! You honor Your commitment and completely follow through with everything You have proclaimed in Your word. There is no repetition of lip service, no inviting You to the place You reign over in the first place, there is no “making” You my Lord and Savior when you already ARE my Lord and savior, there is only the complete surrender of myself to You. Dr. Steven Lawson said, “decisional regeneration,” or rather making a decision for You,” is an oxymoron…you cannot decide for Christ until you are regenerated.” I’ve told several people, just make a decision for Jesus. Certainly we have decisions to make, but “deciding” You can is meaningless, of course You can. Again, that’s just knowledge. Only by calling out in faith to You with a repentant heart can salvation be ours. You command us to repent, You don’t ask for an invite, You tell us, “Follow Me.” Certainly You dwell within us after putting our faith in You as Lord and Savior and You do stand at the door and knock. However, I believe we have flipped the narrative. Commands are not gentle reminders, and the way my mind reframes You knocking at the door conjures images of if my own child was doing something that could separate me from them for eternity, I’m banging fervently for their rescue. God, name above every other name, Lord and Creator, I ask Your forgiveness. The language used, the inaccurate reaching out in the name of the Gospel by forgetting what You have called us to do, to repent and put our complete faith in You, to ask others to pray a certain prayer, to ask if “Jesus has your yes”, I pray those in my past have leaned more into understanding and that I become more vigilant in my tempering of my iron and to be more careful in the way I present Your message. May Your Spirit give me strength and stay with me as I grow in faith, Amen.